Fragile me

the only time i will blog now is when i cant express my feelings through facebook or twitter. that is because 1) i dont want to create drama and 2) the percentage of my friends reading this blog is close to ZERO. not that i always write angrily like some people and when people get annoyed, i'll go "eh suka hati aku la, ni twitter n fb aku. tak suka boleh unfollow or unsubscribe" but yeah sometimes i can be a tad emotional on the social network (attention seeker LOL).

so, what has been running through my tiny brain lately? my feelings, and how am i very fragile about it.

Case 1

Was having dinner with a dear friend, a guy, when somehow that night he decided not to be as gentleman as he always did. He was not being protective (i called him my saviour) and left me alone at the carpark. He condemned every single thing i said that night. He put me as low as he can (or at least i thought he was). But yeah, the fact that he was not being the saviour and the gentleman i'm used to with, i cried along the way while driving home. yeah! cried for like freaking 30 minutes!

Case 2

I have this friend who is famous of him being all grumpy and has 5% level of patience, but... he never scolded or raising his voice when he's talking to me. Therefore, it has never been an issue between us, until recently when we went holiday, together with his family. He was grumpy the whole trip. He raised his voice several times at me till one night, the last night of the trip, when he raised his voice, i almost broke down and cried (i was holding to the emotion because there were a lot of people there, but tears just burst when i was about to hit the sack). We talked about it, and in his argument -- that's how he is with his family, very assertive as he is the eldest in the family. He also said he was tired as hell. Well, maybe Audi-being-so-nice-and-politely-asked whether he wants to eat or not did annoy him, that's why he yelled (plus several other ppl had asked the same question too). I guess that was the wrong timing for me for being so caring. But hello! I was being nice and got scolded after? Of course I was shocked and yelled back at him. Told him 'fine, next time i wont ask a thing'. if he can be grumpy, so can I!

I guess i am very fragile, and definitely a major weeper! but in my defense, I guess I cried because I am used to these two boys being someone I can count on, and look up to, so when things didn't go that way, I get upset.

Oh for Case 2, he said that's how he acts when he is with his family, and most of the time (90%) i was with his family, that's why saya pon terkena tempias la agaknya. and because of that, i felt a bit distance with him because he'd be all cheerful and laughing with his other friends, and be grumpy again when with us. I understand that he was stressed at that time, but I was in shocked too.

oh well, i guess i need to get used to having grumpy friends. or, should i care less?